well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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