i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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