you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
