we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
