I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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