I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
