I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
