o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize