You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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