at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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