About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
