Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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