Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
