I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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