If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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