my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
