the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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