i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
