Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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