Say something about gay babies.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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