SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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