Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
