4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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