I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
even my farts smell like vagina
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize