Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My bed smells like the plague
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize