The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
