Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
