Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?

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(613): View more from Ontario

Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"

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(618): View more from Illinois

So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?

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(386): View more from Florida

At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?

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(28): View more from

so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.

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(281): View more from Texas

Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.

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(914): View more from New York

Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame

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(631): View more from New York

Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers

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