Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
