You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
