plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
