Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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