The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You left your phone here
Wait...
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