ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
