Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
