i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
