she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
