they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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