How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
