not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
