I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
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He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
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He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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