very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
