just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
