I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
