tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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