singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Lo siento on account of my penis...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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