drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
