You really coming over, don't trick.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
