I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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