Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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