dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
