Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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