I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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