Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We need to get me chipped asap
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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