are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
