In the future we'll all be gay
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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