i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
