First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
