and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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