hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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