I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
